Me, Myself, and I

*INTRODUCING MY FIRST BLOG POST EVER…..UH OH.
I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to write about for my first entry for awhile now and then I said, “shut up and just start typing!” And guess what it’s about…ME!  These entries won’t always be-but there’s a good reason for this one. Plus it’s an introduction-so stop your complaining and read on to love, hate, laugh, cry; whatever you feel I just hope you enjoy :

They (whoever 'they' are) say you can’t be happy for, loyal to, satisfied with or loved by another until you can do all that for yourself and more.  It’s a hard task to achieve for anyone, but I do believe it’s possible and most certainly necessary if one wants to ever be happy. And who doesn’t deserve happiness!   This past week marks my third month living in California.  Not to mention a huge milestone arriving (too quickly might I add) in less than 2 weeks…MY 25TH BIRTHDAY!!!  I can’t believe it’s been 3 months already, or that I’m soon to be a quarter of a century OLD. And with everything that has happened in these recent months, it feels like a whirlwind of time has passed; however, ironically enough, everything seems to just now be beginning. Even yesterday-I had a mini epiphany that reminds me why I continue to love myself even more! I’ll keep the event short and simple. I met with a woman who a friend and I randomly sparked up conversation with last month…in an LA Starbucks…while charging our phones. Easy. This conversation lasted about two hours and when we left her I vividly remember thinking…”she’s a good person to keep in touch with.” And we’ve done just that. Chatting with her yesterday made me realize how I’ve been led to the right people for the right reasons since I’ve moved. That meeting resulted in her becoming a future employer, collaborator, friend, and much more.

This realization is important because each day here has been a new adventure in itself. Because I am still adjusting to this new west-coast life, I’ve been spending a lot of time searching and exploring; accepting and refusing; listening and observing; dreaming and creating; meeting and greeting; and most importantly-learning and growing. All of this in small doses; but looking back, these small doses are adding up in big ways!

Of course not everything has come up roses. Not even close. I’ve also spent time worrying and struggling; missing and ‘home-sicking;’ and even more worrying and struggling.  One can expect these things when moving across country to a new place with new people, new atmospheres, new ways of life, new drivers (San Diego, you are terrible drivers. #sorrynotsorry) new everything. It certainly hasn’t been easy, and I’m still desperately trying to make it all work and figure out my life. Ohhhhh the joys and responsibilities of being a real adult. [INSERT your typical mid-twenty something life question HERE]. And I haven’t even experienced all of it.

But hey, I choose to have a positive outlook on life and it certainly could be way, way worse.

Moving to “SoCal” has taught me a great amount of patience and gratefulness. And when I feel any bit worried or anxious, I stop to think about:

*How I am blessed to have family that opens their doors willingly and have been not only fun but overly generous in helping me set foot on this new adventure.

*How I have continuous love and support from friends and family 3,000 miles away.

*How the sun shines almost every day and the beach is around the corner! Oh and palm trees! (Seriously still can’t get over it...I mean it's 95% of the reason I moved here.)

*How I’ve been blessed to even have such an opportunity to get out of my comfort zone, say “screw it!” and start fresh!

I’ve noticed these things can be rare. And such an opportunity presented itself to me at the perfect time, thankfully.  I knew then and there that I needed to reach up, grab it and hold on tight-or else POOF…it’d be lost in space. 

So what does all that have to do with loving and appreciating myself?  I’m still trying to figure that out exactly. But what I did figure out is that this opportunity has led me to the right people because I taught myself to “SAY YES.” To myself and the decisions that will allow myself to do what is important and valuable to me and only me. No more wasting my precious time doing things that I don’t care about, worrying about other people’s feelings or benefits but only for my own. In the end that’s why I am here, right? To be the best version of Lynnia I can be.  Am I being selfish? Yep. And I’m not ashamed to say it, because it’s something I haven’t done for myself yet (and clearly I’m getting old...), so now's the time.  Plus, when you leave all your friends back home-especially my BESTEST MOST FAVORITEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD LIZBETH <-----click to see how beautiful she is-you are forced to learn to like yourself. Already I can see the goals and dreams I want to achieve starting to unfold.  

I’ve also learned that being able to focus on the positive parts has truly been the nicest, smartest decision I could do for myself in general. But it’s always a tough reminder to do so every day.  I knew from step one: taking that risk of buying a one-way ticket, that I was heading in the right direction…for now anyways.  Is that direction going to change again? Are there going to be more obstacles? Harder decisions? Inevitably.  But for now, those small doses of realization and self-love have helped me discover numerous things about myself to choose what I want. So what I’m saying is it’s ok to be a little selfish from time to time. To write about, talk about, care about, share…“ME.” Sometimes a lot of selfish!! As long as it’s taking you to that positive place of where you want to be and what you want to do. Eventually, the right people and things will just arrive. You'll take a second to look at things and say, "Ok! Let's do this!" And then you won't need to feel fear or anxiety, self-doubt; whatever it is that's holding you down because you've already learned to trust yourself a little more.  If something hinders you, you'll know how to roll right over it, because you want to continue on the right path.
You’ve heard it before that in the end, it’s your adventure. But let me tell ya it’s true…and it’s more fun when you like who’s writing it. YOURSELF!

---